How To Find Good Support System?
The lives of people today became more complex, as most people strive to adapt to the fast and changing world. People’s hard work became endless, all for the search of good life and experience.
Along the way, they have met victories and defeat. Some have reached the finish line and ended their pursuit of happiness while others stumbled and decided not to run the race anymore.
There is one great factor that influences a person’s endeavor. This is his relationship with others which serves as his support system.
Good relationship with others is one of the most valuable experiences an individual can have. It can make the life journey of a person worthwhile, regardless of the difficulties he had or will be experiencing.
In one long-term study conducted by Harvard which ran for more than 50 years, they observed the lives of some teenage boys until their adulthood.
Some married and had children; some divorced; some were happily married; others died early; and some became successful in career, while others were chained with addiction.
They concluded that strong and healthy relationship makes a good life. This is an instance of social support.
No man is an island
No person is an island is the saying we often hear. This old adage is true as gold. In good times, we need someone to share the happiness we have or to rejoice with us.
Happiness is best felt when shared. We need someone to dedicate all our successes to and to feel valuable. Most importantly, we need someone in order for us to surpass every challenge we will have along the way.
Good and positive people[1]It Takes a Village: How to Build a Strong Support System around us serve as our support system and would hold us together when everything around us went out of our control. No matter how rich, powerful, stable, brilliant, intelligent an individual is, he still needs a company.
The problem arises when a person’s endeavor is difficult but he does not have anyone to lean on or a good support system and do it all by himself.
Recurring tension | Fluctuating state of mind
A person is not always in his best state. When stressful events creep in and we take it all without knowing how to distress, it could destroy our physical, emotional and mental health. A person who has no outlet could explode when things became too overwhelming.
Mental health nowadays is always at stake, we are always pressured to cope up whether in career, in studies, status in life.
Mental illness has no respect of person. No matter who you are, these illnesses could still develop. We know people, who are rich, popular, and in good state, who have been suddenly diagnosed with mental illnesses.
Some even ended their lives because they were confined to themselves and were not able to ask for help, much less having somebody to talk things out.
Finding a good support system whom we can rely to in good and bad times is vital. We do not need to keep it all by yourself. Here is how we can start.
Start with People You Already Know Who Support You
When we are faced with personal difficulties, we tend to hide in our caves and try to resolve those problems on our own.
There are many reasons why we act as such which include not wanting to bother others or make them worry. Sometimes, we are ashamed with what we are facing, or we do not have much people to trust to.
We do not think that they can help us. Worse, some think that their situation is a hopeless case and think that no one can help them. This way of thinking and how to approach the problem is very detrimental.
On the brighter side, it is very possible that one person can change how we see life and how we face the difficulties. Hence, they can plucked us out from our turmoil.
Nonetheless, we do not need company to strive. We just have to find the right persons who we know could extend their support. We just need a core group or someone whom we can put our trust on.[2]How to build a Positive Support System | mindyourmind.ca
Even during our own success, we want to share the same to the people who have been instrumental for us in achieving the same. Hence, support system may not only exist in time of ordeal but also when we achieve our desired goals.
Family
Generally, a family is one we should know best and should know us best. They are designed to be our fortress our dependable support system, whether we like it or not.[3]How to Build a Personal and Family Support System They are the people who could embrace our successes and defeat without envy and judgment.
Even in our small wins they are with us to celebrate. They accept us for who we are. The only thing we need to do is embrace them and settle the differences we have, if there are any. We can perfectly rely on them.
The saying “blood is thicker than water” still holds true. Despite that every person has different kind of family setup, they can surely support us. We need to use it to our advantage.
Friends and Buddies
Next, we can rely on few good friends. Finding real friends regardless of number is like finding a gold. They are the one who can truly criticize us for our own good and always hope for the best for us.
Friends make our lives colorful, regardless whether we are in the same field or not, it is always refreshing to meet or talk to them from time to time. We can share to them if there are some difficulties going in our lives.
A good friend always find time to listen without judgment. At the same time, we can make a toss of a good wine to celebrate victories. Along the course of our lives, we can surely accumulate friends and place our trust to them.
We may never know when will the time comes that we need to unload our burdens or even joy to them. With trusted friends beside us, we will feel much better.
Individuals that inspire
We can also go to the persons we look up to or we consider our inspiration. They can be outside our family and friends. Talking to a person we look up to could refresh our passion and could redirect our way of thinking.
If we need to go back to where we first began in our different endeavors and talk to persons who inspired us, then we should do it. They can tell us the list of reasons why we are running the race we have.
They can surely help us to get back to the track. Also, we should not forget these people when we already reach success. They deserve our gratitude. The same way, we can talk to person who look up to us.
Through that, we can regain our confidence and self-worth. We can realize that there are people who are relying to us as their source of inspiration and we are their guide in the journey that they are also taking. Thus, we strive to better our walk in life because there are persons who may be following our footsteps.
Everything that we do in our lives, regardless whether we love or do not love doing, those things can burn us out. Worse, they could affect our mental health.
When the first symptom would surface, we should right away run to people we know could help us. We do not need to be consumed by ourselves by keeping it all together within us.
People around us are purposed to be there to lend their support. Also, in order for us to feel the essence of our victories, we need to share it to others as well.
Reach Out to Local Peer Groups
Help is not only limited to family and friends. When we think our mental health is deteriorating, and it could already affect family and friends in a negative way, we need to source out help outside of our comfort zone.
We can find support through our local peer groups. These includes local church groups, social and community organization, and groups who are inclined to the same hobby or interest as we are, as well as colleagues in the same career.
Spiritual support
Local church groups are good source of support. Not only can they extend mental health or emotional assistance, most importantly they extend spiritual camaraderie.
A good church group which helps us strengthen our relationship with God is a good place to be. It is a fact that we are not soulless being and there is something inside us that should be fulfilled.
Oftentimes, when we do not know how to fill this void. Despite that we almost have everything in life, it is as if there is still something missing, and we are still unhappy.
This could result to some kind of mental illnesses. There are also a lot of people in the church who might be experiencing the same struggles we have.
We can share to them our struggles or listen to them how they overcame theirs. Hence, a local church group could help us with the spiritual aspect of our lives and as a result, could strengthen our mental health.
Relevant social organizations
Next, we can find a social group or organization which extends support to communities and do projects for a cause. Sometimes, we only need to see our purpose in life. This can be through helping others.
We often became demotivated when we feel that what we are doing only get the best out of us yet no one truly benefit from it. Through dedicating it to people, we can have the sense of purpose.
In addition, we can also extend help to those people in the community who have the same struggle as we are. Indeed, we can find support with each other despite that we do not personally have relationship with those people.
Interest-laden Groups
Another support system we can have are those groups who are inclined with the same hobbies or interest as we are, such as local sports group, artists group, or adventure groups, among others.
Oftentimes, we take life too seriously that we forgot to do our hobbies outside of our careers. We need to take a break from what we normally do every day.
We can join groups such as those who are interested in marathon, hiking, biking, photography walks, among others. These experiences can refresh our minds and can help us distress. These may be called our support networks.
Lastly, we can also ask for help from colleagues who are in the same field as we are. It takes one to know and understand one.
Those people who are going on the same journey as we are, are the best people who can lend support to us because they perfectly understand what we are going through.
They can surely lend their help. Also, we can celebrate small victories with them, they surely know how important those small wins are.
Support system is not limited to people we personally know, they can be people outside of our family and friends, but still of great help and support. We only have to open up to the world around us and not be confined to ourselves.
Don’t Hesitate to Get Professional Help
It is a fact that there are mental health problems that are severe. If this is the case, professional help should be the number one choice.
Just like any illnesses, mental illness is vital and asking for professional support should be normalized. Professional help includes counseling or consulting to a doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist.
They are in the specialized field who perfectly know how to handle mental health issues. They are best people to add to our support system.
Mental illnesses like depression, ADHD, bipolarism, schizophrenia, among others can best be resolved with medical intervention.
There is no reason to feel ashamed having these mental health issues. As early as possible, if we feel the symptoms of these problems, we need to right away make a move.
Talking to family doctor is a great place to start as they often have resources for mental health professionals. We can also find a counsellor or therapist who are expert in the field. There are counsellors in school if you are still a student, or in your company if you are already working.
There are times that we do not right away get along with the health professionals who assisted us, we should not be afraid to try different people until you find the person we are comfortable sharing our mental health struggles.
Final Thoughts
Our struggles in life when we face it alone without someone on our side who lends us support became insurmountable. At the same time, victories without someone we can share to or to rejoice with us became worthless.
Thus, in good and bad times, we need people who are going to be with us as our support system. We need to have those people to make our journey worthwhile.
Most especially when things became hard and it resulted to our mental illnesses, the more that we need good people to rely to. Family, love ones, and friends are the best people who can lend us support without judgment.
People outside our circle are also good source of support. Lastly, in dealing with severe mental health issues, it is not shameful to ask professional help.
We cannot do it all, we need someone whom we can share our struggles to. Never get tired of searching these people if you have not find them yet.
